Ok, I need to blow off some steam right now. I'm taking a 5 minute break from my "No swearing" New Year's Resolution. Blame the 3 hours of sleep I got last night for this:
The more time I spend in Kat's presence, the more I want to rip her head off and feed it to a pond of koi fish. Um...carnivorous koi.
She has a ridiculously good-looking, nice-enough boyfriend in New York (see: Captain Underpants). We hated having him in the apartment, but the guy was a nice enough person and obviously really cares about her.
But what does she do every damn night? Puts on the sluttiest "RAPE ME NOW" dresses she can find, and parties with random guys that she picks up around the city.
Meanwhile she says her boyfriend is being too protective and too suspicious of her. Well Fuck, maybe it has something to do with you being drunk off your ass all the time and having already cheated on him before! Stupid slut!
So he calls her and she screams at him. He calls her again, she screams at him. Then she cries at him. You're 21. Start fighting like a fucking adult, not a dramatic little teenager.
And last night, completely trashed, she cried at him for 3 hours on the phone in our living room. My room shares a wall with the living room, so I had to be privvy to every single fucking word of that conversation. From 2 AM (when she came in drunk and dropping things everywhere) to 5 AM (when she passed out in a puddle of her own drama queen tears).
I HAD WORK THIS MORNING DAMMIT. How many fucking times do I have to say "YEAH I HAVE TO WORK ON SATURDAY" for her to get the idea that I NEED TO SLEEP ON FRIDAY NIGHTS??? TAKE YOUR BAGGAGE SOMEWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN THE FUCKING LIVING ROOM!
And this evening she keeps going on about this cute "sweet" boy she met last night. YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO LOVES YOU, WHORE. And not 12 hours ago you were sobbing to him on the phone about how he needed to trust you! BITCH!!!!!!
Okay I'm done.
No, I'm not done: "THE HILLS" IS A RETARDED, UNREALISTIC SHOW AND I CANNOT BELIEVE WE HAVE TO WATCH IT AND EVERY FUCKING VERSION OF "REAL HOUSEWIVES" WHEN YOU ARE IN THE APARTMENT. DON'T FUCKING TELL ME THAT 30 ROCK IS A STUPID SHOW WHEN YOU SPEND ALL YOUR DAYS MEMORIZING WHO'S DATING WHO IN HOLLYWOOD.
Other than this, today was splendid.
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LOL OMG!!! Wow. That was.. Laura, I think you deserve a standing ovation for that awesome rant. *CLAP, CLAP* Ugh but my head truly hurts at every mention of that girl's name. What a thoughtless, self-involved, spoiled, ignorant, STUPID, rude, nasty, and EVERYTHING-THAT'S-WRONG-WITH-THIS-WORLD ho-bag! I'm sorry you have to put up with her-- that sounds TRULY horrid-- and I'm surprised nobody's tried to kill her in her sleep yet. AND HEY! How dare she diss 30 ROCK!! For THE HILLS?? Ugh! Girl lacks both sophistication and taste. Don't get too close to her, Laura. You might catch an STD!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I laughed at the concluding line of this post :-D Nice.
ReplyDeleteSeriously! If anyone in the history of sex ever truly deserved to get genital herpes, she is that person. And yeah, she said 30 Rock was stupid and weird. All I had said was "Oh man my friend just got me totally addicted to 30 Rock, have you ever seen it?" Bitch has no idea how civil conversation progresses.
ReplyDeleteAnd she's one of those people who rarely laughs. Instead she stares at you intently and says really slowly "That's soooo hilarious, oh-my-g**."